Going through the week I would say was interesting because it was really tough but there was so much to tease and laugh about (I guess that was just to cover up for the internal numbness ravaging). Truth be told, the hardest part of being an entrepreneur should be this part of paying your dues on starting out, quite crazy how you would have to act out an “it is well” life/situation. A bitter pill to swallow, an internal groaning.
So this numbness lingered. How possible will it be for me to succumb to accepting there was a struggle within? Though I was fading off, gradually loosing Me, I thought the best way out is to suppress it, look off, shun it and play it off. Trust me, I have three wonderful colleague-clowns with me to excellently carry that out and we had lots of fun. That was the best escape route at my moment of reality.com. (Really, I love to be empty of worries and be happy always). But I am loosing myself, I couldn’t feel Me again, Help! Not even my “Friends” and co-clowns could not see beyond the plays, gist, teases and laughs, whew! I, even did not realize the extent till my mentor and i had a conversation that kept my eyes wet for minutes; I was xrayed, I was opened up like breaking the coconut shell to let the water out and get the softer and chewable part.
Then, I appreciated and learnt more about mentors, especially when you are in close contact and they know you. Mine has a skillful way to get you, after talking about some tasks done and to be done, he chipped in;
Hope all is well with you?
It seems something has been on your mind/heart for over a week now.
But then again what do I know.
Perhaps I don’t know Mosope as well as she is known by Enor or Tobi
Then I replied;
What did you observe sir?
It is possible you know me more than them o.
They could be carried away by plays and gist. It takes a deeper look and observation.
I actually gave this response genuinely like I am with a doctor I expect a cure/solution from. He dropped the Punch;
Your resumption time to office, your countenance (as if tired or something on your mind or someone annoyed you at home or office), and the fact that I usually have to ask you to do things at least twice before it seems to get done.
Or maybe na me just dey read too much meaning into all these.
After all what does a small boy like me know about a tough, complicated & seemingly-soft lady called Mo.
By this time, I was deep in tears, he was absolutely right. Why would I allow this to happen? If you know Seun Akisanmi and eloPhotos Academy well, all these above mentioned are non-debatably off, I felt really sorry. He had watched me over time and would not allow me do this to myself any longer, it really takes someone who is genuinely interested in your good to see beyond your ill behavior and take to caution instead of scolding or penalty. I accepted I haven’t been me really lately, can’t even feel my pulse (so many things to thrash I guess); but i admit all that are not enough excuses for ill behaviour.
Being true and genuine that I know him to be, he encouraged and ended the conversion with his gesture;
Perhaps it will help if I take all of us out to the movies on Tuesday.
Perhaps it will help ease all the tensions.
Quite thoughtful. What a boss/mentor!
This was the high point of the week for me as it made all the teachings of the week make more sense and reiterated I am in the right place. Though not sure my “Coconut shell” has all been cracked out because I am still in my “reality.com,” I will be more conscious of me.
This is still Mosopefoluwa Onanusi (actually soft, but tough, an overly committed friend, deeply nice, fun-loving, ambitious….Lady) taking life lessons at eloPhotos Academy.