It is unbelievable to explain a mind-blowing experience in my marital life! This was the statement that subconsciously came out from my mouth when an Aljazera correspondent interviewed me last year. Come to think of it, I wonder how some people seem to have issues in their marriage. Many have given different excuses for acting in a particular manner in displaying their marital responsibility towards their spouse. Can this be as a result of their background? Some think marriage is just leaving together, while some think is just for satisfaction of sexual desire. In fact, some men marry in order for their wife to take care of the household while they are away. After pondering of what could have been happening to my wife, I finally concluded on a definition of marriage. Although, there are so many things I still hope to understand about my wife, I love her for who she is. Also, an alarm always sounds in my mind anytime I choose to be naughty. It is the signing of the dotted lines at the marriage registry and especially the consequences.
It happened that I married a woman whose background is completely different from mine. She was born oversees and had her primary education there. I could say she was born with a silver spoon, as compared to me that has no spoon no to talk of wooden one (smiles). Her father, a surgeon is a well traveled specialist. He is always traveling with the family. He instilled the mentality of self-pride, integrity and independence into his children. Imagine a woman with all these virtues! The combination of the virtues helps in her pursuit, especially in the disposition of her job functions.
Unexpectedly, my wifes fathers assignment was over and there was a decision to relocate back to the home country. The entirely family initially objected his decision. Although, there were so many other alternatives which the father could have considered, he insisted he was not going to accept any other offer. So, he relocated the whole family to Nigeria. Oh! How I wish I was his friend oversees at that particular time to advise him not to come back home; that he should have gone for bigger pay-check assignments. That could have helped him to be more resourceful and experienced. But I never knew it was going to be a benefit for me. Had it been the family never came back to Nigeria, I may not have met this babe (smiles). Well, we eventually met and the rest is history.
Interestingly, my wife developed an attitude that got my attention of recent. Wait! Did I just notice this attitude? How can this be? Can this be true? Could that be as a result of the instilled discipline from childhood? These were the questions flowing across my mind. I understand that family is the first institution which forms ones habit but it can be changed. In fact, in recent times, I discovered that she does it in such a way that its like she has been programmed. At this point, I resolved that I was going to watch her closely when she exhibits this certain behavior. I regret those years that I had wasted not taking time to know my wife the more, especially this issue. In fact, I wanted to react that day I noticed this attitude of hers but I maturely calmed my nerves to understudy the process, as well as the outcome.
Consequently, I was dumbfounded by the display of the woman I had stayed with for close to a decade. I can imagine my high level of ignorance about her. On that fateful morning, after having our devotion, she went to have her bath with great enthusiasm and I was set because it was about the time of her usual habit. Wait a little! I gave it a second thought. Several questions ran through my mind. Will she display the attitude? Hope she will not pretend? Hope my concentration will not make her to disguise? Well, I concluded I would manage to study her and conclude with whatever I can deduce.
I noticed that she is great at making up her face. From the cleaning of the face, to the applying of the foundation and on and on, and by the time she finished that fateful morning, she looked gorgeous. It then dawned on me that the woman in my life had been underutilized in my photography business. This beautiful woman would have been useful to perfect the brides session of my wedding photography, and even the portrait session for years. Oh! It is also sad to say that I have been paying exorbitantly for services out there as against the one at my finger tip, which I would have got for free. Now, I have learnt by experience that marriage is more than a man cleaving to his wife. Every aspects of man, including marriage needs real observation and continuous learning in order to understand key areas that can better ones business, especially my business of photography.
By Jide Jokodola