The Day a RAT Stole My Bathing SOAP

I know, I know, it sounds like a catchy title to get your attention and make you click to get here. Funny thing was, I didn’t believe it myself until….. Well, here’s what happened that faithful Saturday morning.

I had to sleep over at the office so I could get a little headstart on getting to the wedding I was to cover on September 7, 2013. After meeting with a colleague from Abuja, I headed to the bathroom in my office to get cleaned up before heading out. It was then I noticed my soap was gone. At first I tried to retrace my steps to see where I had placed it the last time I used it. Although I know I had been having issues with my memory (enough to prompt me to order THE MEMORY BOOK), I could have sworn I was 99% sure I placed the Tetmosol Baby Soap where I was looking for it.

Could it be that the bathing soap I bought for my princess Ebenezer (which was rejected by my Queen because it wasn’t “sensitive enough”) was attractive to someone else. Or perhaps it was the security man that borrowed it and forgot to return it. Or was my mind playing tricks on me? For about 10 minutes, I searched the entire office with a towel wrapped around my waist (stop trying to picture what I looked like).

Finally I returned to the bathroom to examine the location for more clues. It was then I decided to put on my CSI hat. To my surprise (ok, maybe I wasn’t really surprised), I discovered rat poopings in the area I had placed my soap. Was it possible that a starving rat ate my soap and left 12 crumbs of poop as evidence? Should I collect the “evidence” for further examination or perhaps send them to the lab for scrutiny? I concluded that the rat that had been entering my office through a hole in the ceiling must have been culprit in THE SAGA OF THE STOLEN SOAP.

Question now was WHAT SOAP AM I TO BATH WITH? Time was of the essence. I didn’t have the luxury of an extra 15 minutes to dress up again and go out to purchase another soap. I had to make a decision and I had to make it fast. After looking around for a few seconds, I came across a discovery that will suffice as a savior of the moment: OMO detergent. It was as if 2 forces were fighting in my head. To use or not to use OMO to bathe, that was the question.

It was then I remembered a weird cousin of mine who had used the washing detergent to bath about 15 years ago (there’s probably still a good chance that he still uses it). I realized that since his skin did not react to the experience and since he’s still alive today, there was nothing to loose. I needed to leave the house squeaky clean for this wedding I was to cover. It isn’t every weekend I get to cover weddings and when such an opportunity arises, it helps if my body odor isn’t what makes the groom or bride irritated.

4 minutes later, I was through bathing with the OMO detergent. Thanks to the rat that stole my soap, I would discover that the washing detergent isn’t that bad for my skin (as long as I use it once in 35 years). I felt an air of confidence envelope me after the experimental shower. Perhaps that helped in the CLEAN pictures I got during the wedding. Perhaps it didn’t. Either way, I was determined that no rat, soap or situation will stop me from achieving whatever goal I wanted to achieve (the goal of the moment being to be cleansed from my unrighteous body scents).

Moral of the story: do not let your LACK of things inhibit you from achieving your desired goal. If you exercise your brain cells well enough, you’ll realize to your surprise that you have more options than you ever thought were available. Keep an open mind and you’ll always know what to do whenever a RAT STEALS YOUR BATHING SOAP.



  1. abiodun · September 10, 2013

    Funny piece.I’m always looking forward to ur post cos its always inspiring.well done


    • elophotos · September 19, 2013

      thanks so much. We’ll try not to disappoint you.


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