Rantings of a Weird Photographer


I am Ronke Alao, member of staff, Elophotos. My work week starts on Mondays. Monday mornings are always hectic for me, not because I hate my job (like a lot of people do), but because I live in Ikorodu and work at Ikeja. Now, Ikorodu to Ikeja is only about 20 miles and that should only take 35 minutes of drive time at the most. It takes me about 30minutes to get to work – but only in my dreams. In reality, leaving home any later than 5.15am on Mondays, is a sure guarantee that I wouldn’t make it to work at 8am.

The crowd at the bus stop on Monday mornings could only have crawled out of fresh earth. Don’t tell me these people all live in Ikorodu. Apparently, some folks live in Ikorodu only on weekends and stay in “Lagos” during the work week. That means traffic on Friday evenings is also usually a nightmare because that’s when the ghost residents return to Ikorodu.

This write-up is intended to tell you about how this past week went but all I have mentioned so far is the traffic. Pardon me, it’s hard getting past it. The unique thing about Ikorodu is that a lot of private individuals pick passengers up for a fee. Usually about the same as what buses charge. Smart way to pay for gas if you ask me.

Some skills I have developed to cope with traffic include RWR, Bird’s eye and Bold face.

RWR
This refers to “rushing without rushing”. Rushing with 10 people to get in a car that will only sit 4 passengers is not my cup of tea. But there’s a way I crank up the speed of my legs without running when there’s a good chance I can get in a car.

Bird’s Eye
This is “stretching” your eyes to see far and beyond what the average eye sees. I can spot a car several feet away and figure out in the fraction of a second if it’s one that would stop to pick passengers.

Bold Face
My favorite skill of all, it refers to wearing confidence like a shirt and having a facial expression that commands attention. So sometimes it could be me attempting to get in a car even after the driver has indicated that he won’t be picking passengers. It could also be waving down a car that looks expensive because people usually don’t do that. I figure if I would be sitting in traffic for 2hours, I might as well be very comfortable.

A couple of weeks ago, I got picked up by a kind man (or so I thought)who decided to give me a lift to Ketu. He later told me he was going towards Ikeja and I was so glad. But just then, he started telling me he wanted me to have his baby! I thought,” this is the stuff Nollywood is made of”.

I don’t watch a lot of T.V and I always thought this was as a result of my busy schedule but now I think it’s just because my day gets filled with drama so why waste time watching boring shows?

You may have enjoyed reading this write-up and if that is the case, I say “thank you” for your time. If you are reading and thinking, “what is the whole point? What is her main message?”. I do not have a “point”. What you’ve read is simply the rantings of a weird photographer. You shouldn’t take life too seriously,take the liberty to rant sometimes. It’s healthy.

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6 comments

  1. Jeremiah Etuk · August 19, 2013

    Nice one Ronke, I thank God my office is no longer far from where I stay; Ogba to Ojota. Hope you noted the car of the guy that wanted you to have his baby, lol. Well I guess you’re now at the office, enjoy your day and have a nice week.

    Like

  2. motif · August 19, 2013

    Ranter, Rant on!

    Like

  3. Pingback: Rantings of a Weird Photographer | Sage Pictures
  4. izrel · August 23, 2013

    more like “the weird ranting of a weird photographer”…am sure the “have my baby guy” knows u from somewhere…rant on ronke

    Like

  5. Pingback: A Photographer’s Guide To Covering FAMILY EVENTS Without Going BROKE | eloPhotos
  6. Pingback: A Farewell Tribute to a Great Writer, Photographer & Friend | eloPhotos

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